First and foremost, I would like to thank those who had contributed ideas and contents to this blog. BGR (boy-girl relationship) has always been the hot topic in conversations/discussions within any group of demographics. And I really appreciate for the chance to be the only girl in a group discussion with some nice guy friends who shared some of the strategies, techniques and comments without any reservations. It really enhances the statement of "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus".Sometimes we wonder how can a guy and a girl's thinking be so distinctive? Generally, from a female standpoint, the thing we ask for is very simple - Attention. We can never understand why our boyfriends rather play their favourite computer games than spending time listening to us on the phone. We can never understand why they can stay up watching soccer games all night long, getting themselves so tired when we are on a date the following day.
Likewise, men withdraw to their own world until they find a solution to a problem. This allow them time to distance themselves from the problem, focus on something else until they revisit the problem with new perspectives. But ladies require to talk about the issues when they are stress or in need for a solution. And if this attention span is not given, the major conflict between the two genders will begin.
During the discussion, I came to know how one of them spent effort during the courtship. One of his actions was, picking up 1218 of saga seeds (the number happen to be the girl's birthdate), placed in a very nice bottle with small framed photo of the two of them. The idea is simple, but the process was tedious. He made 2 trips down to the park due to insufficient seeds collected in the first attempt. Then, finding a nice glass bottle, suspend the framed photo at the centre of the bottle. It was not easy as it is been said.
(The above picture is solely for illustration. It is not the actual product.)
When the present was presented to the girl on her birthday, though she was moved, but he wasn't accepted as her boyfriend. Instead, after the event, she was expecting for another touching move or gift from him to make it official. Most guys will wonder, " What the hell? What else she want? Hadn't him done enough?" However, it wasn't our intention to make things difficult. In fact, it is only a different way of calculations. A guy may think that his effort worth 40 points, but a girl calculates the presents not as a whole.
Gift itself = 1 point, Nice bottle = 1 point, with nice photo of hers = 1 point, saga seeds = 1 points, candles and music = 1 point, with cards = 1 point, flowers = 1 point etc...
Thus men's perceived value of his effort may be different from ladies as we calculate differently! As a result, guy complained to their friends, wonder what went wrong for not receiving enough appreciations. Then a pattern of thinking begins to form. "No use for doing so much, they don't appreciate at all! " Eventually, the ladies grumbled, for insufficient effort made. It sounds familiar, isn't it?
To figure out the differences is not difficult. Both parties need to be more observant (which most of the guys hated), have more patience and be more understanding to each other.
A good suggestion for guys is to read women's magazine
(not looking at pretty pictures but reading their stories). It is also to my surprise that some guys are smart enough to start it out already.I can't really offer ways on getting girls to understand how a guy think for the fact that I am not a guy! Guys should be in a better position to advise on this. Any takers? Something I can think of is asking a guy instead of our girlfriends' opinions and heed them with open mind.
As a girl, we can never understand what is going on in their minds just like they don't understand what is going on in ours! As much as possible, avoid guessing games which are too difficult. At the very end of the day, guys are much more simple-minded than we think they are. Don't you agree?
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