#9 The North and The South, The Mars and The Venus

First and foremost, I would like to thank those who had contributed ideas and contents to this blog. BGR (boy-girl relationship) has always been the hot topic in conversations/discussions within any group of demographics. And I really appreciate for the chance to be the only girl in a group discussion with some nice guy friends who shared some of the strategies, techniques and comments without any reservations. It really enhances the statement of "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus".

Sometimes we wonder how can a guy and a girl's thinking be so distinctive? Generally, from a female standpoint, the thing we ask for is very simple - Attention. We can never understand why our boyfriends rather play their favourite computer games than spending time listening to us on the phone. We can never understand why they can stay up watching soccer games all night long, getting themselves so tired when we are on a date the following day.

Likewise, men withdraw to their own world until they find a solution to a problem. This allow them time to distance themselves from the problem, focus on something else until they revisit the problem with new perspectives. But ladies require to talk about the issues when they are stress or in need for a solution. And if this attention span is not given, the major conflict between the two genders will begin.

During the discussion, I came to know how one of them spent effort during the courtship. One of his actions was, picking up 1218 of saga seeds (the number happen to be the girl's birthdate), placed in a very nice bottle with small framed photo of the two of them. The idea is simple, but the process was tedious. He made 2 trips down to the park due to insufficient seeds collected in the first attempt. Then, finding a nice glass bottle, suspend the framed photo at the centre of the bottle. It was not easy as it is been said.

(The above picture is solely for illustration. It is not the actual product.)

When the present was presented to the girl on her birthday, though she was moved, but he wasn't accepted as her boyfriend. Instead, after the event, she was expecting for another touching move or gift from him to make it official. Most guys will wonder, " What the hell? What else she want? Hadn't him done enough?" However, it wasn't our intention to make things difficult. In fact, it is only a different way of calculations. A guy may think that his effort worth 40 points, but a girl calculates the presents not as a whole.


Gift itself = 1 point, Nice bottle = 1 point, with nice photo of hers = 1 point, saga seeds = 1 points, candles and music = 1 point, with cards = 1 point, flowers = 1 point etc...


Thus men's perceived value of his effort may be different from ladies as we calculate differently! As a result, guy complained to their friends, wonder what went wrong for not receiving enough appreciations. Then a pattern of thinking begins to form. "No use for doing so much, they don't appreciate at all! " Eventually, the ladies grumbled, for insufficient effort made. It sounds familiar, isn't it?


To figure out the differences is not difficult. Both parties need to be more observant (which most of the guys hated), have more patience and be more understanding to each other.

A good suggestion for guys is to read women's magazine (not looking at pretty pictures but reading their stories). It is also to my surprise that some guys are smart enough to start it out already.


I can't really offer ways on getting girls to understand how a guy think for the fact that I am not a guy! Guys should be in a better position to advise on this. Any takers? Something I can think of is asking a guy instead of our girlfriends' opinions and heed them with open mind.


As a girl, we can never understand what is going on in their minds just like they don't understand what is going on in ours! As much as possible, avoid guessing games which are too difficult. At the very end of the day, guys are much more simple-minded than we think they are. Don't you agree?

#8 First Look

Oops, apologise for been MIA for so long. Recently was tied down to my work at the same time, my stomach has been upsetting me the whole week. Couldn't understand the reason why, but I assume everything is ok for the fact that I hate to see a doctor.

Lately I had a colleague who is now known by my ex-colleague, just had his job switched to Jap advertising firm. Then he sms us saying that the Jap chicks there are really hot and cute with really mini skirts.

Then it actually strikes me, are we all superficial creatures? Our eyes are naturally attracted to beautiful things or people. I am not refering to everyone but rather generally, well of course including of me. Our eyes follow whenever hunks or chicks walked past us.

Yesterday I saw 3 models-look-alike walking past in Esplanade. I couldn't calculate how many times I turned back just wanting to see them more. Sometimes I wonder, how does it feel to be one who attract attention in a good way. You probably got to have a very good figure, irresistiable charm and a perfect combination of features.

The importance of look seem to be very common or has become one of the conditions when it comes to looking for a partner. So does a person's character matters anymore? I really have no idea. I don't really believe in love at first sight actually. I thought it was rather superficial. But what drawns 2 people together? Does it all starts with the first impression? And what if she/he ended up not the kind of person that you thought it was suppose to be?

I guess each one of us has a different set of criteria. What sets the heartbeat to race faster than the normal could be anything. But before the adrenaline rush takes over, remember to look in depth rather than the surface.

#7 The Big Confession?

Telling someone you like him/her is rather difficult for some people. Especially when you are unsure of that person's feeling. Tradionally, guys are always the one who initiate the confession. Ladies will just have to drop hints here and there, hoping the one they like will somehow or rather 'catch' it.

But ladies, is the 21st century!! We no longer have or must be the passive one waiting for the love confession to drop somehow. We can chose to be the one or not be the one to make the first step for our relationship. We have a choice which may or may not put us on a better position. Why do I say so?

The Pros

- No more waiting!
- No more guessing game!!
- Know instantly if is a open door or shut door for your relationship.


The Cons

- Making things too easy for guys
- Allow excuse for guys not to do anything
- Self-esteem


Of course all these above are my personal opinions. You either agree more or disagree more to it. It doesn't matter. What matter most is everyone went through the same stage or had the experience of struggling whether to express your love to the one you like.

To decide whether is a Yes to confess is not easy. A lot of courage are needed. Will the confession serves a back-fire to the friendship? Most Asian have this kind of in-depth consideration, while caucasians tend to be more open.

Don't have too many thoughts on confession. Trust and believe that confession is just a way to express your feelings. Caucasians did it so easily.

I had confession before and it was heart attack at the beginning. But it really gave me a clear picture on whether is it just only a friendship or love.

Relax, is just a confession. If too much thoughts given, nothing will get started. You can just wait and wait until the cows come home. Letting love just by-pass you time and again (no wonder you are still single). Be the proactive one for the ladies may be a bit hard if you measure it against the self-esteem. I understand. It is a give and take. You either be the taker or the giver. You chose.

#6 Why Singles In Love?

Over lunch, someone actually dropped me a question as to why I named my blog as Singlesinlove? My answer to that was very simple. Wouldn't that brings you to find out why in my blog? Haha.

Well, the only thing I thought of was why can't the singles be in love too as well?

As long as your status remains Single, you can be either available or the other way round. Sometimes even the loveliest couple would also want to have some time for their own. That is why my blog is here to provide some entertainment (I hope it served the purpose well).

Anyway, do poll as much as you can on the right. It's a very interesting topic that came from conversations with my friends when they saw the post before this. Of course, more wonderful insights from them

Well, we shall see where the poll heads to. =)

#5 Commitment Freak

I was talking to a bunch of my male colleagues yesterday and they were discussing about one of my part timers who hadn't had a girl friend throughout the whole of his 20 years life.

It wasn't very strange for someone who had no girl friend because it could be due to a lot of reasons like small social circle or some part of the character were just not promissing.
But there weren't any problem with him. He had wide group of friends, looks ok, and hardworking. He even introduced his 2 female friends who are very good looking to work.

That's when most of my male colleagues had the questioning of whether if he is gay. But he vowed that he is not!

The only issue with him was simple. He is only looking for someone who is ready to commit for a long term relationship.

Now for a guy to own this thinking is somehow or rather classify as a very unique specie. Many guys who would just heck it and just go for the nearest river to quench his thirst. Who is still looking for the big and wide ocean just right for him?

The reason for many people to have a good relationship is for the fear of commitment.

And in fact, I usually fall under that category.

I used to have a good guy friend who likes to mix around with girls and be a "good friend" to all of them. I always despise his way of 'mixing' around.
But he used to tell me: If you are commited to one, you only have one. But if you chose to be single, you can have more than one.

And what's wrong with having more friends to be with?

I couldn't help to agree with it now. Isn't it good to be a single with open choice?
The only thing that matters is till when?

When that true love comes, it will. And when that has not arrive, the rest are only passer-by.
This commitment problem only worries those who wish to settle down ASAP. Well if you happened to be that one, freak not. There are ways to get things done. *grin*

Till next time...